The Kazza and Steph Show!
by The Insane Ones
Summary: The Insane Ones are bored so decide to host a talk show... What happened to the real host... (Glances around!) PLZ R+R
1. Show 1: Triple H & Scott Steiner

A/N: We The Insane Ones (Kazza and Steph) got bored and decided to torture you with this! You don't like it? Well we don't care, cause we do (like it that is!)  
Announcer: WELCOME TO THE KAZZA AND STEPH SHOW!!! INTRODUCING OUR TWO TOTALLY GOREOUSLY SEXY HOSTESSES KAZZA AND STEPH!!!!  
  
(Enter Steph and Kazza)  
  
STEPH: Thank you Mr Announcer! I would like to introduce my personal assistance and personal bodyguard. The one of a kind Sexy Boy Shawn 'HBK' Michaels!   
  
(Enter Shawn Michaels, does little dance, fireworks etc. then goes and sits next to Steph)  
  
KAZZA: Hehe, now my turn!! I would like to introduce MY personal assistance and personal bodyguard. WWE's own Superhero! Shane 'Hurricane' Helms.  
  
(Enter Hurri-dork, dramatic pose etc. then sits next to Kazza)  
  
STEPH: Our two victims… I mean guests tonight are…  
  
KAZZA: Steriod Freak, The Game Hot Head I mean Hunter Hearst Helmsly.  
  
(HHH Enters does water spitting thing… EEWW!! Then sits down)  
  
STEPH: And the Generic Freak Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner!   
  
(Steiner enters does what ever he does at his entrance and sits down glaring at HHH)  
  
KAZZA: Steph you can ask the first question.  
  
STEPH: No, you go first.  
  
KAZZA: If you insist. Hot Head! I mean Hunter…  
  
HHH: Yea?   
  
KAZZA: Umm… When you and Steph Mc Mahon had your on screen break up and Steph said that "Its not the game your playing it's the size of the field" indicating about you lacking down where it counts… How accurate was that.  
  
HHH: Why would she know?  
  
STEPH: Come off it Cripple H, we all know that you are screwing Steph behind the scenes.   
  
HHH: The Game is very well equipped.  
  
KAZZA: Are you sure?   
  
HHH: Why wouldn't I be sure?  
  
STEPH: Well your wrestling gear leaves nothing for the imagination…  
  
KAZZA: And lately we've been seeing you in your undies and seriously…  
  
HHH: THE GAME IS VERY WELL EQUIPPED!!!  
  
Steiner (Muttering under his breath): Yea SURE! (Little snort of laughter)  
  
STEPH: Scott… BE NICE!!  
  
HBK: I'm not Gay or anything, how could I be with my beautiful girl Stephy? But Hunter, Kurt Angle is more of a man than you and THAT is saying something!  
  
STEPH (Blushing): Oh thank you Shawny baby… (Shawn leans in kissing Steph!)  
  
HURRI-DORK: YOU GUYS STOP ALL THAT GOOPY SHIT!  
  
KAZZA: Hey what's wrong with that 'goopy shit'  
  
HURRI-DORK: Well you see its only OK when we do it! (Hurri-Dork leans in kissing Kazza)  
  
(FEW MINUTES LATER!!)  
  
STEINER: YOU FOUR QUIT IT!!! AREN'T YOU TWO MENT TO BE INTERVIEWING US?  
  
(The 2 couples break apart. Kazza and Steph wipe there mouths Blushing).  
  
STEPH: OK next question… Steiner?  
  
STEINER: Yes?  
  
STEPH: You are the Generic Freak… How much is really generic?  
  
STEINER: All of it! Unlike Steriod Boy over there!   
  
HURRI-DORK: Yea right Steiner! No normal man could have muscles that shape with out drugs…  
  
STEINER (Wiggles eyebrows at Kazza and Steph. (A/N: EEW): I'm no normal man. This is all me!   
  
HHH: I DO NOT DO STERIODS!  
  
ALL: AHA!  
  
(Christian pops up!)  
  
CHRISTIAN (On one knee): Kazza Be Mine!  
  
HURRI-DORK (Dramatic pose): OI! Hands off my girl!   
  
(Hurri-dork and Christian fight for a few minutes while Kazza and Steph watch laughing. During this time HHH moves closer and closer to Steph until HBK hits him and they start brawling! After a few minutes Steiner stops the fight and everyone sits back down)  
  
HBK (Looking at Steph with hunger in his eyes): Hey have you sexy ladies got any more questions for these freaks or can we end the show so we can teach you to umm… wrestle…  
  
STEPH: Umm… Kazza?  
  
KAZZA: Lets end it here! Thank you all for watching! Next show we shall have… Umm Steph?  
  
STEPH: Umm… Stephie Mc Mahon and umm…  
  
HURRI-DORK (dramatic pose): Eric Bitchoff!   
  
KAZZA: Thanks babe! Yes Stephanie Mc Mahon and Eric Bitchoff!  
  
STEPH: Be sure to tune in!   
  
(Steiner and HHH leave arguing! Show goes off air with HBK and Hurri-Dork teaching Steph and Kazza to umm… 'wrestle') 


	2. Show 2: Eric Bischoff & Stephanie McMaho...

A/N: Yes we are back again with another chapter. You still don't like it. Well we still don't care. And those of you, who do, enjoy this too. Oh BTW we aren't McMahons so we don't own the WWE. And this was written before No Way Out, and I was too lazy to post it.  
  
Announcer: WELCOME TO THE STEPH AND KAZZA SHOW!!! INTRODUCING OUR TWO TOTALLY GOREOUSLY SEXY HOSTESSES STEPH AND KAZZA!!!!  
  
(Enter Kazza and Steph)  
  
KAZZA: Thank you once again Mr. Announcer. Please welcome back My Superhero and yours, and my other things that I can't say on national TV. Shane 'Hurricane' Helms  
  
(Enter Hurri-dork, dramatic pose etc. then sits next to Kazza, the two start kissing)  
  
STEPH: *cough*  
  
KAZZA: Sorry *mumbles* Not  
  
STEPH: You can also welcome back My Personal Assistant, Bodyguard, and other things that Kazza says I'm not allowed to say on National TV. The Heart-Break Kid Shawn Michaels.  
  
(Enter Shawn Michaels, does little dance, fireworks etc. then goes and sits next to Steph)  
  
STEPH: Now are guests for tonight are.  
  
KAZZA: The man with no dick I mean RAW GM Eric Bitchoff I mean Bischoff  
  
(BOOS and a ASSHOLE chants are heard as Bischoff enters, and sits.)  
  
STEPH: And the beautiful, talented, smart, nice, very cool, most Dominant Female in the WWE, Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon.  
  
(CHEERS and Woof whistles from the crowd as Stephanie enters and sits)  
  
KAZZA: Steph fan much?  
  
STEPH: Shut Up. Now you got to ask the first question last time so I can go first this time. Bitchoff, I mean Bischoff. How does it feel to know that you are going to get your ass kicked by Stone Cold Steve Austin at No Way Out?  
  
BISCHOFF: What? I'm not going.  
  
(Stone Cold appears out of nowhere)  
  
AUSTIN: WHAT?!  
  
KAZZA & STEPH: SHUT UP AUSTIN!  
  
(Austin drinks some beer and disappears)  
  
KAZZA: Really Bischoff. Don't deny it, I know it, both the Steph's know it. My Shane knows it, Steph's Shawn knows it, The crowd knows it, hell everyone knows you are going to get your ass kicked.  
  
BISCHOFF: I AM NOT GOING TO GET MY ASS KICKED!!  
  
ALL: Aha. SURE!  
  
Crowd: BOO. ASSHOLE. ASSHOLE. ASSHOLE. ASSHOLE. etc.  
  
BISCHOFF: SHUT UP.  
  
STEPHIE: Give it up Bischoff; it's a fact, just like it's a fact that Raw sucks and Smackdown rules, we have bigger and better superstars than Raw.  
  
BISCHOFF: Oh whatever you reckon Stephanie. See the thing I have over you is that I have the great evolution. and your weekly fuck oh sorry I mean fiancé Hunter.  
  
STEPHIE: Don't insult my fiancé or his stable! He's only there to destroy you! So you'll loose your job.  
  
BISCHOFF: Then why was he hitting on your name shake over there last week?  
  
STEPH: Because he wants what Shawn has, cause he's a jealous bastard and like to play with peoples lives.  
  
STEPHIE: Really? I never noticed that.  
  
KAZZA: That's cause you are blinded by his big nose  
  
HBK: Can we please talk about something other than the ass that tried to put in a wheelchair.  
  
STEPH: Of course sexy.  
  
(Steph and Shawn start making out. While this was happening, Christian sneaks into the studio up behind Hurricane and knocked him out.)  
  
CHRISTIAN: Kazza is going to be mine, you dork.  
  
KAZZA: HEY!  
  
CHRISTIAN: Oh crap  
  
(Kazza jumps on Christian and starts punching him)  
  
KAZZA (between punches): How.dare.you.attack.my. hurri.dork  
  
BISCHOFF: GET OFF HIM, I NEED HIM, HE'S ONE OF MY SUPERSTARS.  
  
(Bischoff jumps up and pulls Kazza off Christian. Which makes Steph stop kissing Shawn and get up and hit Bischoff over the back of the head. Allowing Kazza to go back to beating up Christian.)  
  
STEPH: DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY FRIEND. YOU SLIMY EVIL SICK BASTARD!  
  
(Steph goes to slap Bischoff, but he blocks and slaps her. So Steph kicks him in the balls. Stephanie falls of her chair laughing at Bischoff. Shawn steps up to Bischoff and gives him some sweet chin music)  
  
HBK: No One Touches my Steph and gets away with it.  
  
(Shawn then turns around and comes face to face with Triple H who sneaked in at some point also. Hunter kicks Shawn and pedigrees him)  
  
HHH: Why would you want weak HBK when you can have me?  
  
STEPHIE: HUNTER! YOU BASTARD. Edge, Brock & Chris Benoit were right. GO Back to you bum buddy Flair, cause there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that I'm gonna marry you.  
  
(Stephanie slaps HHH across the face and kicks him the balls, before stomping out of the studio.)  
  
STEPH: Kazza  
  
KAZZA (Still punching Christian): What?  
  
STEPH: I think you knocked him out.  
  
KAZZA: Oh ok.  
  
(Kazza gets off Christian and goes to help her Hurricane back up, while Steph does the same.)  
  
HURRICANE (dramatic Pose): Thanks hun.  
  
HBK: Can we get out of here?  
  
(Kazza and Steph look at both Bischoff and Christian knocked out on the floor)  
  
STEPH: I would say so. Who's up next?  
  
KAZZA: Brock Lesner and um, um Kirk Angle HBK: Well that's gonna be a loud of fun  
  
STEPH: You bet. Thanks all for watching, and be sure to turn in next week for Brock Lesner and Kurt Angle.  
  
(The show goes off the air with Kazza and Steph helping Hurricane and Shawn out of the studio, and leaving Christian and Bischoff to lying on the floor.) 


	3. Show 3: Brock Lesner & Kurt Angle

A/N: We are BACKKKKKK be afraid be very afraid… I don't know if I am meant to be writing this chapter but OH WELL! (Kazza) If you don't like this story then STOP READING IT but we like it so we are not going to stop writing it.  
Announcer: I would like to introduce your two totally sexy, mouth-watering hosts Shawn Michaels and Shane 'The Hurricane' Helms… Wait hang on a second, that's not right Shawn and Shane aren't the hosts, the gorgeous Steph and Kazza are the hosts.  
  
(Enter Shawn and Shane and sits down)  
  
Shawn: Yea we know that but we were sick of you hitting on OUR girls so we decided to change it.   
  
Shane: Plus OUR girls wanted to show everyone something, so…  
  
Shawn: … I would like to introduce my totally sexy girlfriend Steph…  
  
(Steph enters doing Shawn's pyro and entrance. She sits down on Shawn's lap and they start kissing)  
  
Shane: (Rolls eyes) And I would like to introduce my gorgeous sidekick and girlfriend Kazza…  
  
(Kazza enters doing Shane's pyro and entrance. She sits down on Shawn's lap and they start kissing… Shawn looks up walks over to Shane and hits him across the head)  
  
Shane: Hey what was that for?  
  
Shawn: Hands off my sister!  
  
Shane: She's not your sister.  
  
Shawn: I know she's not but the script… hang on there is no script I'M CONFUSED!!!  
  
Kazza: Umm… Moving on! Our guests this evening are the oh so muscly - GAG - Brock Lesner and Bald Eagle Kurt Angle.  
  
(Enter Brock and Kurt glaring at each other, Kurt with his neck in a neck brace)  
  
Steph: Boys take a seat… Kurt hows your neck?  
  
Kurt: Sore thanks you very much. (Glaring at Brock)  
  
Kazza: That's nice, now Brock congratulations on your win.  
  
Brock: Thank you! You know that I am still the youngest ever WWE champion?  
  
Steph: Yea but are you the youngest ever WWF and WWE champion?   
  
Brock: Umm…  
  
Angle: COUGH looser COUGH  
  
Kazza: Good one Steph… Now next question?  
  
Steph: Umm… Kurt when are you coming back?  
  
Angle: Umm… I don't know soon hopefully so I can get my pay back on Brock.  
  
Brock: You will never get pay back! I will be the champion FOREVER!!!  
  
Shawn: Actually you will be the champion until the writers decide that they want a different champion.  
  
Brock: SHUT UP! Has Been Kid!  
  
Shane: That is so old!  
  
Angle: And so is your supper hero thing.  
  
Kazza: HEY LEAVE MY HURRI-DORK OUT OF IT!  
  
Steph: YEA! Leave my boyfriend's sister's boyfriend out of it!  
  
Brock: HUH?  
  
Shawn: My girlfriend told you to leave her boyfriend's sister's boyfriend out of it!  
  
Brock: IN ENGLISH!  
  
Steph: I said leave Shawn's sister's boyfriend out of it.  
  
Angle: Who is Shawn's sister?  
  
Kazza: I am.  
  
Angle: No you aren't.  
  
Shawn: No she isn't…  
  
Kazza + Steph: YES SHE/I AM!!!  
Shawn: Oh yea she is…  
  
Brock: (Standing) I'm confused… I'm leaving…  
  
Kurt: (Standing) I'm coming with you.  
  
Steph + Kazza: DON'T LEAVE!!!!   
  
Shawn: Well everyone that's our show for tonight, for some strange reason the writers has not included any fights!  
  
Shane: Or anyone needs to be saved by… (Dramatic pose) HURRI-DORK… I mean Hurricane!!   
  
Kazza: Yes Ladies, gentlemen, germs, babies, aliens, wrestlers, furballs, animals, writers, readers, Rob Van Dam, Sleezeballs - COUGH Bitchoff and Heyman COUGH and anyone else who happen to still be reading this… what was I saying??  
  
Steph: You were saying goodbye to everyone.  
  
Kazza: Oh yes that's right!! Good night all!  
  
Steph: Good night!  
  
(Kazza and Steph stand up and leave, Shawn and Shane stay behind looking confused)  
  
Shawn: Did our girlfriends just walk off?  
  
Shane: Umm… yes!   
  
Shawn: Did they even say who was going to be on the next show?  
  
Shane: No! Hey announcer dude pass me the script.  
  
(Announcer walks in handing Shane the script)  
  
Shane: Thank you  
  
(Announcer smiles and walks out)  
  
Shawn: (pulling script out of Shane's hand) Let me see… Next show we well Steph and Kazza will be interviewing… WWE's once most dynamic group who are now just want to be single wrestlers TEAM XTREME!!!  
  
Shane: hey aren't you Jeff's mentor?   
  
Shawn: Umm… so… he still sucks with out Matt and Matt sucks with out Jeff…  
  
Shane: (Grinning) and Lita just sucks…  
  
(Kazza pops up and hits Shane on the head)  
  
Kazza: I HEARD THAT!!!  
  
Shane: Sorry  
  
Kazza: You better be… Lets go   
  
(Pops out taking Shane with her)  
  
Shawn: Hey… now I'm just alone…   
  
(Steph pops up)  
  
Steph: Miss me?  
  
Shawn: HELL YEA!!   
  
(Shawn pulls Steph onto his lap and kissed her) 


End file.
